So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
