In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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