Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
