Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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