just survived the first fart of the relationship.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
