I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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