The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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