you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
