Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
