hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
