well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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