using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize