I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
