You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
