Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
