I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
