One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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