Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
