i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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