I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
