dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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