Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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