I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
