The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
