Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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