Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My ass is underappreciated
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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