i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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