Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Found your dick twin last night
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
