Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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