he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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