you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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