i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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