I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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