Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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