just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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