I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
