We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
