so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
