I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
