bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
