White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
