also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
