you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
