if i died would you start the facebook group?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
