Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize