My first STD was from a foam party
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
