420 ftw
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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