I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You smell like a Billy Joel song
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
