I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
