Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
