U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
