can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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