We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize