And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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