I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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