so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
