I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
