I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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