he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
lol hangovers are for mortals.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
