Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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