I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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