Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
A+ Viking dick
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
