I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
