I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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