I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i think i have herpe
just one?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
