I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
